A Man's POV: Supermodel Scallops

As a kid and very amateur paleontologist, I understood there were two types of dinosaurs: meat-eating dinosaurs and boring dinosaurs. You can bet every time I bite into a steak I think, “Yep, just like an apex predator Tyrannosaurus would.” However, I’m married to a boring dinosaur. That can’t possibly be misinterpreted. Julia claims she isn’t a vegetarian, but I have two eyeballs and her lies look a lot like plants for every meal.

Normally this doesn’t cause conflict but with Julia busy learning the ropes at her new job at thefacebook.com, I’ve had the opportunity to “Lean In” to the kitchen instead of just “peeking in” and asking when dinner is ready. Unfortunately, since Julia’s dinner is usually my dinner’s dinner I had to find some common ground. So I went to the only person I knew I could trust: a supermodel who I stalk on the internet.

You probably know Chrissy Teigen from the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue aka, “Oh, what? Honey, no, this is sports.” Chrissy Teigen is like Weird Science (IMDB: 1980s geeks use floppy disks to make perfect 1980s woman), but there’s nothing weird about it because that technology exists and she’s real. Here’s a list of things she is:

1. Better than me at Mario Kart and the F-word;
2. Hilarious on Twitter; and,
3. A supermodel-looking person who cooks awesome meals and blogs about it.

For Julia, supermodel + blog + food = credibility. Also, is it weird that I read a swimsuit model’s blog for the FOOD PICTURES? These are recipes that look so good, I have to constantly check over my shoulder because I feel wrong. But sometimes wrong is delicious and in this case I found the recipe that is the perfect compromise between my eating habits and Julia’s: Chrissy’s scallops.

Chrissy Teigen's recipe for the perfect scallop

Not only do the scallops taste like a pescetarian’s taste buds went to heaven and forgot to be boring, but Chrissy’s post is one of the funniest things I’ve read in months. As I began to read the recipe, I was prepared for a basic set of instructions, but I was totally unprepared to go on a brief journey of feelings from hunger, to sadness, to empathy, to humor, to shame for laughing at sadness, back to hunger, and, finally, to satisfaction and pride.

I won’t repost the entire recipe here because you NEED to go on that journey yourself. However, I will show you some pictures as evidence:

Chrissy Teigen's perfect scallop recipe

Trying Chrissy Teigen's scallop recipe

Oh Jesus, she also has a bulldog.

Bulldogs in the kitchen

These scallops are the perfect dish to satisfy both the boring dinosaur and the biggest, baddest, warrior Tyrannosaur on the block. The best part is that if you can follow some simple, profanity-laced instructions, then they’re really low risk while still sounding impressive. I think Julia is really proud of me, so it’s safe to assume that Chrissy’s blog will be my go-to cookbook when I want to eat like a swimsuit model.

(Photo of Chrissy Teigen via So Delushious)

Follow Once Upon a Blog


  1. Yum! I need to try those scallops! Adorable picture of Nick and Daphne, by the way. I can't handle that much cuteness this early in the morning! xoxo, BA

  2. First, hen can I come over for dinner! Second, this is great! I made her bacon deviled eggs a few months ago & they were a huuuuge hit! :)

    xoxox Boring Dinosaur

  3. I just recently started loving scallops. Had the best scallops dish of my life at a restaurant called Bistro 29 in Santa Rosa. Seriously, her Smooshy is ah-dorable!


    Jules of Canines & Couture

  4. I will take the scallops and your pup! Love these man's pov posts!

    xx Cara